|Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 10:40 PM|
As a gamer, I enjoy watching reviews, let's play videos, and other cool stuff to do with games. My partner and his dad did a review on "Warhammer Diskwars", a table top game with wooden disks instead of miniatures and based off of the Warhammer Fantasy game. On comment on the video was that my partner looked like Kevin Smith because of his beard. I am pleased to know I'm dating Kevin Smith. You may now continue to your regularly schedule sex blog.
Consent is asking the other person/people involved if they're willing to engage in these activities, and also asking about their comfort levels, emotionally and physically. If something is too painful, or if they want to take it a little faster, slower, harder, etc, it's good to make time to check in with them. Should the person decide that they no longer want to continue, that's up to them and you. Sometimes, certain aspects of sex can trigger strong emotions in different folks. This is a good thing to discuss before sex.
Also, keep in mind that men can be raped, too. Despite stereotypical limits, it's almost impossible to think that men can be raped because they "always want sex". This isn't true, men can be raped. I know 2 men who have been raped. Sometimes this happens in childhood, during their first relationship, or even later in life. It's not as common as women being raped, and it's still an unfortunate circumstance for both genders. It still needs to be brought to attention.
Rape can be sexual intercourse with any part of the body that can be penetrated. Yes, it can even be in the ears, if it's non-consensual. Assault is the act of touching/fondling/unwanted contact that can lead to rape.
Obviously, it's important to ask for consent during sex. It could be your first time or your 50th time, it's always good to ask. There's always the stereotype of one partner wanting sex and the other not in the mood. In most situations on television, it's the man hinting that he wants sex, the woman denying him. Notice that there's never any asking, just hinting. But that's isn't the case all of the time. My partner and I often use consent, just in case one of us is unsure about it. Sure, it will feel weird for one of us, but it's better than regretting it later. It can still be counted as rape, in some cases, even if you're married to the person involved. Engaging in sexual activities without consent from the other person/people involved can technically be assault or rape. How would you feel if someone was forcing themselves upon you when you didn't want them? Don't do it to someone else.
If the other partner(s) involved are unable to give consent (drunk, high, knocked-out, etc), do not engage in sexual activities! They're not able to give consent if they're barely able to stand upright and they're puking in the flower pot.
The person involved may make physical contact with you, but it doesn't mean they're ready for sex. If it's unclear if they want to have sex, reassure them that it's their choice or talk about how you both/all would feel about it. I might rub my hands on your inner thigh when I'm wasted, but that's just the alcohol. Sure, you might have thought about sex all night, but if I say I'm not interested, then it's time to back off. Just please help me to the bathroom, I might be sick...
Also, your partner(s) might be into one type of sex, but not the other. For example, they might have been interested in oral sex for that night, but weren't ready for anal/vaginal. It's better to let them choose what they're comfortable with, and for you to choose as well. Remember, check in with them! Don't take silence as a "yes". There should not be any obligation to finish whatever has been started, or pressure to engage in the first place.
Just as a head's up, the most common age of sexual consent is 16, but sometimes it can be 18. Check your local laws on ages of sexual consent. In some cases, such as places in Mexico, the age of consent can be as young as 12.
I want to say thanks to www.scarleteen.com for some help, as well as www.pamf.org. All the images here were found via Google Images.
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