Luka Thalius and the Birth Control Conundrum pt. 2

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 7:55 PM

NuvaRing - aka The Ring (no, not that horror movie with the girl and the television)

The ring is a 2” flexible ring that you insert into your vagina once a month to prevent pregnancy.

It's pretty easy to get with a prescription, and in some cases you might be able to get one through your community health center. It will cost anywhere from $15-$80.


As with most other forms of birth control, it will not prevent HIV/AIDS.


In order to use this pretty ring effectively, you have to insert it into your vagina and up against the cervix. DO NOT go any farther than the cervix, as it will not work and will probably hurt. And if you can push it up that far, may I say...DAYUM!


Pros: Easy and relatively affordable birth control, DIY aspect, might need a little bit of lube, but no surgery or doctor's visit.

Cons: May cause blood clots, strokes, heart attacks, high blood pressure, heart disease, ovarian cancer, gallbladder disease, liver tumors. Please don't smoke, breastfeed, or use drugs on the NuvaRing


There's a link below with more information. If you like it, then you should put a ring on it (it meaning your vajay?).






IUD (IntraUterine Device)

I'll be honest, I'm a bit biased. I love the IUD's! I have the Mirena version, and it's worked perfectly for me for the past 1-2 years that I've had it. What's great is that you can have unprotected sex without worrying so much about getting pregnant that you start acting like a hyena on crack.


There are a few kinds here, but many more online -

Mirena* lasts up to 5 years (hormonal), thickens cervical mucus. Uses the mix of estrogen and progestin.

Skyla* lasts for up to 3 years, hormonal.

ParaGuard lasts up to 10 years (copper), doesn't change hormones at all.


*Hormonal IUDs might reduce cramps and menstrual flow after some time, and can be used during breastfeeding.

The way these nifty doodads work are that they block sperm from getting to the eggs. They're T shaped, and they push up against your uterus to keep spermies from tally-hoeing towards your ovaries.


They're inserted via a doctor within one visit, and you definitely will experience some pain, spotting, and cramps. Rarely, women will develop infections, but most complications can be treated. In severely rare cases, the IUD will slip out of the vagina. But should all go well, your cramps and pains will go away after a day, and you may start jumping into some pants (I don't advise literally doing this)! I would highly consider wearing a condom during sex, even if you have the IUD, and always check the "strings" a few days afterwards to be sure it's in place.


You may find that your sex life will improve and become more spontaneous because you don't have to be so concerned. Should you decide that babies are a sure thing in your future, you can have it taken out and start becoming pregnant right away.






Sterilization (surgical & non-surgical)

I'll be completely honest, I don't much like this method. It scares me a lot because it means scarring your body in such a way that you won't be able to have babies. I don't know, it just freaks me out.


Anyway, this method is meant to be permanent, safe, and effective. There are several ways of doing this:


- Cutting the fallopian tubes

- Placing a small insert that causes scar tissue

- Tying the tubes

- Closing them with an electrical clamp

- Cutting and cauterizing

- Placing a ring out it


As one might imagine, this is an expensive surgery that will result in discomfort afterwards lasting from 1-3 days. It's meant to block sperm from getting through the fallopian tubes altogether.


Most surgeries can be done safely, but there are risks. It's completely possible that the tubes can reconnect. It also may cause ectopic pregnancies (pregnancy that develops outside of the uterus, fatal for the mother).


It lasts for life and doesn't effect hormones. It also doesn't cause symptoms of menopause, and you'll still have periods. This is an option one might want to consider if they don't want to have biological children, or feel that their children might be threatened or their health might be in danger (i.e. the parent has AIDS, might pass it along to the child, potential birth defects, etc).




Depo Shot

The Depo Shot is an injection that one gets within the first week of their period that lasts for up to 3 months. It's really easy to get (likely within 1-2 doctors visits. Which reminds me, I need to schedule mine...) It's about $35-$100 to get, potentially more for exam fees. Sometimes one's periods become lighter, heavier, or there's a change in sex drive.


It lasts for up to 3 months. It's just a shot of progestin that increases the cervical mucus. It works for as long as you continue getting it.


$35-$100 for injection, potentially more for exam fees. Otherwise, not so bad.






The FemCap is a non-allergenic cervical cap that's inserted with lubricant, much like the aforementioned diaphragm in part 1. It's reusable for one year, and is usually pretty comfortable. Ideally, it doesn't interfere with sex and can be a DIY project (kind of). Once inserted, it covers the cervix and stops any spermies from completing their achievement and gaining experience points in your uterus.

Since there's no surgery involved, one can easily get pregnant after it's removed. It can be acquired through your local family planning center (if you have one. I'm pretty pissed at those states without them and with "rape insurance", as if women are cars or something. Fucking idiots.), or the hospital. It's also made in the US, for those of you more patriotic readers!



I'm honestly not sure of the price, that's something that might have to be homework for you to do on your own. :)


Today Sponge

Oh my gods, you guys. When I looked at this, I couldn't figure out what to think of it. It's funny, but useful, but weird...all of that.


Ahem, let me get back to the more professional atmosphere.



The Today Sponge is a sponge that has spermicide in it. After running it under water, insert it into the vagina against the cervix. It blocks sperm from getting through, and traps them in the sponge, instantly killing them. It only lasts for 24 hours and can't really be felt by either partner.

Oh, and it's held in place naturally by the vaginal muscles.


It's disposable, can be carried discreetly, and one can use it in the tub (just no water sex, okay? It will lessen the amount of spermicide in the sponge).


Please don't use a tampon at the same time as the sponge. I don't even want to know what would happen there, as it shouldn't be worn during your period.


It goes for $12-$18, and you can get them in packs of 3.



Thanks so much for reading! All these pictures were found on Google Images :3


I hope you all had a safe and happy holidays. It's freezing here and the rain doesn't help the roads and sidewalks. I apologize for the lack of updates, I run an Etsy website and other stuff, so I'm quite busy. But I love those of you who read this blog, and thank you!




In the meantime, here's a gif of Markiplier doing stuff.

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