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External Condom Tricks!

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 10, 2014 at 12:35 AM Comments comments (0)

External Condom Tricks!

In the post "Is It on the Right Way?", I talked about how to safely put on an external condom. In this mini-post, I'll go into detail about else you can do with an external condom!

 

Why do I call them "external" condoms? Why not just say "male"?

Because not everyone who uses them are having sex with a male. They aren't always putting them on a penis. These condoms have many uses, including for masturbation, and it's always nice to be inclusive towards everyone.

 

Dental Dams:


Dental dams are small, plastic sheets used to place over the vagina or anus during oral sex, mainly to prevent any exchange of STDs or STIs. Often, STIs and STDs are transferred through blood, semen, pre-cum, breast milk, and vaginal fluids. If your partner has an STD and you're having oral sex with their vagina or anus, I'd suggest using one of these! It prevents the transfer of sexually transmitted anythings. While it seems far-fetched, you can contract an STI/STD by getting vaginal fluids, pre-cum, or semen (and in some cases breast milk and blood, because there are kinks for that) if it gets into any cuts that might be in your mouth. That happens often, I know I bite the inside of my cheeks sometimes. They look like this:

 

 

Even though you can buy them like this, it's a lot cheaper to make them yourself, and it means you can get creative with it! You can use flavored or non-lubricated condoms.

Simply cut off the tip of the condom with scissors, cut off the rimmed portion of the condom, and cut right down the length of the condom. Here's a diagram to explain.


 

 

Once you're done cutting, stretch it out a bit and it's ready to use!

 

"Condom Babies"

One thing my friends and I used to do as young teenagers was to take a non-lubricated condom and do our very best to shove a stuffed animal inside of it. After we got the plushy inside, we'd blow up the condom and tie it like a balloon. Ta-da! Instant present (obviously, not for children).

 

Packers:

Packers are nifty, homemade objects that are equivalent to male genitalia. They're used commonly amongst the trans* community. Packers are phallic-like objects that are worn under the clothing to give the appearance of having a penis. Without a packer, the appearance looks a little empty. There are soft (not meant for sex) packers, and hard (meant for sex) packers.

It's completely possible to make a packer out of a few condoms! Here's a link to show you how to do so (mad props to theotheropinion):

http://theotheropinion.tumblr.com/post/30229161618/how-to-make-a-packer-tutorial

 

Want to see what else you can do with a condom? Follow this link to find out more! There are about 20 things here that you can do with them.

http://www.fhmindia.com/20-other-things-that-you-can-do-with-condoms/

 

*Note: I do not own the rights to any of these images or sites, they were all found via Google search. I understand that I am to take down any of these links upon request.*

 

Get Your Geek On! - Convention Safety

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 11:25 PM Comments comments (0)

Dude, conventions are fun! Especially the ones geeks and gamers have. But there are people at cons who are looking to have too much fun, and there might even be people who could make others feel uncomfortable. How do we deal with that? Also, how do we deal with sexuality at cons? Here's some basic information on convention policies and how to be safe.

 

My partner and I went to PAX East last weekend and we had a blast! I felt very blessed to be completely comfortable (emotionally. Physically, it was a 20,000 people sauna of sweat and testosterone in there) in my surroundings. Sexually, my partner and I weren't doing anything because we were being respectful of his family which we were sharing a room with. You just don't do that to family...

 

I looked online at some policies because I wanted to know what would happen if someone felt unsafe at a convention. Here are a few examples:

 

PAX East

"If at any point you feel unsafe at PAX or that any of the rules have been broken, we ask that you inform an Enforcer or member of PAX staff immediately. Your safety is our primary concern, and if you feel that safety has been compromised, we will do everything in our power to rectify the issue. Issues of violence and harassment are addressed immediately, with guarded “Safe Areas” being designated in case any incidents do arise."

"Any form of harassment, whether that’s based on gender, race, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, or religion, will not be tolerated at PAX. If you are caught or reported to have harassed anyone at PAX, you will go through our reporting process and face remediation steps."

"PAX has a strict ‘no booth babe’ policy with the purpose of creating an environment where everyone can feel comfortable and welcome, and the focus is on games, not hired booth staff. Booth babes are defined as staff of ANY gender used by exhibitors to promote their products at PAX by using overtly sexual or suggestive methods. Partial nudity, the aggressive display of cleavage and the navel, and shorts/skirts higher than 4” above the knee are not allowed. If for any reason an exhibit and/or its contents are deemed objectionable to PAX management, the exhibitor will be asked to alter the attire of its staff."http://east.paxsite.com/safety-and-security

 

San Diego Comic Con

"Attendees must respect common sense rules for public behavior, personal interaction, common courtesy, and respect for private property. Harassing or offensive behavior will not be tolerated. Comic-Con reserves the right to revoke, without refund, the membership and badge of any attendee not in compliance with this policy. Persons finding themselves in a situation where they feel their safety is at risk or who become aware of an attendee not in compliance with this policy should immediately locate a member of security, or a staff member, so that the matter can be handled in an expeditious manner."

http://www.comic-con.org/cci/convention-policies

 

Anime Boston

Unsolicited physical contact is part of their prohibited contact policy and will be dealt with according to their "Reprecussions and Violations" policies depending on the severity of the action.

(There wasn't much on this topic, so I didn't add the link because I didn't have any legit blurbs)


With these in mind, how could one keep themselves safe at a convention sexually and personally?

I went to a panel on gender inequality in video gaming where one of the panelists mentioned that a cosplayer for her video game was approached by an attendee and he asked if he could grab her ass because he liked her costume. I would say this is a huge no! But it brings me to my first topic:

1. Be Aware of Your Surroundings and Your Cosplay

If you're feeling uncomfortable right off the bat with your cosplay and others making gestures or comments towards you, I think it's time to change. I suggest bringing a small bag with extra clothes in it so you can change at any time. Likewise, be aware that your cosplay may entice others to make passes at you, grab you, make comments, etc.

 Personally, I wish I had thought about this. I dressed up as Kaylee from Firefly and my coveralls were too tight. Wedgies galore...

 

2. No Means No

If someone asks an inappropriate question, make sure they know the answer if you're not into that. Some folks think that when they're in cosplay that they are that character. I know a few people who dressed up as characters from Hetalia and they're engaged. One of them was groped by another Hetalia cosplayer because those characters are often shipped together. Also, please ask others if you can have hugs and get pictures taken.

My partner and I got to meet our favorite Youtuber, Markiplier. One question that I was asked by a friend was "DID YOU TOUCH HIS BUTT?!" My first reaction was no, but I should have. Realistically, I probably would have asked to touch considering he might have said yes and grabbing might freak him out or something. I want to be polite, not get kicked out of PAX.


3. Consider a Group

By that, I mean tag along with a group of people! If you're 18 and younger, it's a good idea to go with friends or family. At least there's someone there to help if you feel unsafe. If you're 18+, still consider traveling with a group in case there's a problem. Make sure to get contact information so you could meet up if someone is lost.


4. Know Your Exits, Ride, and Stay-Over Location

Be sure you know where your convention location is and to arrive on time to get inside and without trouble. You never know, these things happen. Also, give yourself enough time to get your things together. You're going to want a water bottle or another water-storage device, a pen for autographs and stuff, money for merchandise and prostitutes (not really), protection in case there will be some sexy times (you never know), and food.

You should know where your ride will be (if you're getting driven by a friend, walking, taking a bus, etc), and how you're getting to where you're staying for the night.


5. Consult Security

Please feel free to talk to security if there are any safety concerns you have during your time. They're pretty friendly folks and I'm sure they wouldn't mind to help.

 

This was just a brief overview of what you should do for a convention. I hope it helped! I'll be posting more in the near future during summer vacation :)

Trans* Health (I don't have anything witty for this)

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 11:15 PM Comments comments (0)

I've got a lot of friends and loved ones who identify as trans* and I think it's important to include how to be healthy as a trans* individual. Note that I am not trans* identified (more gender non-conforming), I am an ally who wants to help give others info. If you would like for me to add more about this topic, please indicate in the comments below!


 

 

 

 

 

Let's begin with the terminology: trans*

I use the asterisk because I believe that trans doesn't always mean transgender, it's a transitioning point for people who don't agree with their gender assigned at birth, and it's an ever-changing point for some. It could mean that this person uses gender non-conforming pronouns, or the pronouns of their opposite gender (i.e. if they were born female, they may choose to use male pronouns), they could wear the clothing that makes them feel like themselves and identify as trans*, they could prefer to be called a transsexual, or they could be someone who says they identify as (insert pronoun here), and they have a trans history. Because I couldn't possibly know everyone's story, I use an asterisk. It's sort of a "DIY Fill in the Blank". Onward!

 

If you want more information, then follow this link:


 

 

Yes, I went there. Now seriously, follow this link -

http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=protocol-terminology

 

As one might imagine, there are multiple health concerns that trans* folks deal with during their transition. Mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. The biggest thing to do is to respect that person's preferred gender pronouns and not to ask about their previous identity (who they were born as), as that can be offensive. I'm sure those of you who identify as cisgender (a fancy word that means you use the gender pronouns that match with your identity at birth. Ex: Male at birth = he, him, his) that you have questions and curiosities, which would be normal, I think. However, I'd suggest going to an official website for that information as to how transitioning works or visit a Trans* convention or conference that offers workshops for you to attend.

 

I myself have been to the Transcending Boundaries conference in Mass that has offered lots of amazing workshops and panels, and I got to meet Kate Bornstein! I'd suggest looking up the nearest GLBTQ or Trans* conference in your area and checking it out.

 

There are problems concerning trans* people and HIV which still exist. The sex hormones needed for transition (estrogen and testosterone) can be taken via pill, skin patch, and injection. The injection part is what is the concern as far as HIV is considered. If one doesn't use clean needles, HIV can easily be contracted. Reuse of needles also pose health concerns, but we'll get to that in another post.

 

Some issues that occur during transition include:

Fears of finding a partner

Family and friend relationships

Work relationships

Violence and prejudice

Experiencing surgeries and changes

Changing legal documents.

 

After transition:

Varying levels of satisfaction with appearance and surgeries

Unaddressed emotional issues

Disappointment.

 

Overall concerns:

Finding health professionals that will be understanding

People not using preferred pronouns

Suicidal thoughts

Depression & anxiety

 

As far as physical health, I could not find very many things that were up-to-date and accurate for trans* individuals. I did find a link on what to talk about with your health care provider as a trans* person. Here it is, as well as some information from Fenway Health on Trans* Awareness Week.

 

http://www.glma.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.viewPage&pageID=692

 

http://fenwayfocus.org/2013/11/transwk-transgender-awareness-week-2013/


Sorry, folks. When I find more information, this will be updated! Please, please feel free to add comments below if there are any mistakes or if there's something I missed. Take care!

 


I'll be Watching You: Stalking, Harassment, and General Discomfort

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 10:55 PM Comments comments (0)


 

 

 

 

A friend of mine was recently harassed by a person who works in the same store as her. They usually don't work together, but they occasionally see each other and joke around. Sometimes it's play-flirting, and it's with more than just this guy. Everyone was under the assumption that it was just fun, nothing serious (as she has a partner, who is also another friend of mine). I won't get into details since I was confided in and I think that's pretty rude, but the actions this man made were definitely uncalled for and violating of her trust, let alone her acquaintanceship.

What would you do in this situation?

 

Personally, if he had done this to me, I would have removed myself from the area and made it clear that he would never speak to me or come near me again. Maybe that's harsh, but it's better than getting hurt in the future. I would follow it up by talking to management about it, just to let them know that this was serious and they need to be aware that it could also happen to someone else.

 

 

 

So, what's harassment?

Harassment is an umbrella term of all different behaviors that are considered offensive in nature. It could be used to scare, upset, or disturb the victim and may also be repetitive. Sexual harassment is an unwanted sexual advance that usually happens in the workplace.

 

What happened to my friend was sexual harassment, even though I won't tell you what the man did. My boss at work has sexually harassed people before, too. See my other blog for details.

 

How do the victims feel?

In my friend's case, she felt that she was responsible and didn't want the man to get in trouble or fired because he "needed his job". This isn't uncommon, of course. Guilt is one of many responses to sexual harassment. Others include:

Anxiety

Depression,

Shame,

Frustration,

Loss of confidence/self-esteem,

Isolation,

Feeling powerless,

Being objectified,

Changing lifestyle,

Serious amounts of stress,

Feeling/being scrutinized and judged,

Sometimes retaliation from the harasser. 

 

How can I help?

A great place to begin is by talking with the person who has been harassed (if it's not you) or seeking help from a friend/therapist (if it is you).

 

If you're on the supporting end, whoever you are, consider some of the following material:

 

Don't minimize the person's experience. They're really going through some shit right now, the last thing they need is someone telling them that is wasn't that bad, it could have been worse. Listen to them, it was real and it was scary. Don't make excuses for the harasser, either. Some people who don't like conflict or hearing about conflict usually try to make excuses so that they don't have to listen. "Guys will be guys" some say, and that should make everything better, right? Bullshit! What they did was wrong, hands down. Personally, these aren't the friends you should turn to, but any port in a storm...

 

For those really supportive friends, you'll have the feeling of anger and want to find the person who did this and make them pay, right? Well, don't. I know the feeling. My sister was physically hurt by her partner once, and I was the biggest rage-monster I could think of. Violence never solved what other violence caused. The smart thing to do is stick by your friend and find them help. Don't be afraid to call them out on their crap too! If you think they're making up excuses and putting themselves down, call them out. Tell them the truth, but be gentle. Pressure only makes it worse. If you think they're really in the dumps and absolutely need support, don't be afraid to take the step and get them the help they need.

 

Maybe you should also check in with yourself. Do you use offensive language when describing people? If so, try keeping that in check. Don't beat yourself up, but try curbing language that is considered offensive or triggering. It's not good for the victim and it only makes others feel dehumanized and encourages negative thoughts. Same goes for people you know, make sure they understand how harmful it can be.

 

As for you, keep in mind that you're only one person! Burn-out happens to us all when we're invested in a cause or have a lot going on. Step back, deal with yourself, take deep breaths, and make sure you're okay.

 

 

 

What can I do to prevent sexual harassment?

 

If you feel you or someone you know is being sexually harassed, here are some things you could do to work towards ending it.

 

Clearly indicate that this behavior is not wanted and will not be tolerated; say "no"

Inform the harasser of what they've done and that actions will be taken if it does not end.

Keep documentation, even if it's a journal entry or a picture. Record any time that you have met with the harasser, what you've discussed, and especially if there have been negative conversations.

Any and all meeting you've had with your employer about the harassments.

Any retaliations made by your harasser.


Your next steps would be to file a complaint with your supervisor, your employer, and/or an official organization that deals with these matters or the police (I'd go with the cops to be safe).

 

 

Letting it go doesn't help. Pretending that this never happened doesn't help. If you don't end it now and make it so that you're safer where you are, you're not going to be at peace and you're going to be scared every time you go to work. I'd highly suggest making a move while you have the ability to, and telling your managers. If that doesn't work, go over their heads. It's YOUR safety, not theirs.


 

In conclusion, please be careful. You're your own person, but the world isn't the friendliest of places. Be safe, know your surroundings and the people you work with. If you're suspicious, listen to what your gut tells you. Let someone know that you're nervous or worried. Fear drives people who commit acts such as rape, so informing someone means you're being that much more careful.

 

 

 

 

Special thanks to the following websites with help on some of the information here!

 

http://www.aauw.org/what-we-do/legal-resources/know-your-rights-at-work/workplace-sexual-harassment/#strategies

 

http://www.northwestern.edu/womenscenter/issues-information/sexual-harassment/effects-sexual-harassment.html

 

Also, here's another blog with a bit about sexual harassment in the workplace. I recommend it!

http://www.my-borderline-personality-disorder.com/2012/09/sexual-harassment-at-work-borderline-personality-disorder-ptsd.html

 

 

 

All images here were found through Google Images. I do not own the rights to any of the images on this blog.

Allowing the Awkward ??? Guaranteed Weird Sexy Times or Your Money Back!

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 10:50 PM Comments comments (0)

I lied about the “money back” thing.

 

Everyone who has had some sexual experiences, including masturbation, has also had some moments where things didn't go “as planned” and there was a moment of awkwardness. Maybe one of your family members walked in on you and you “fear-gasmed”, one of you pooted during sex, someone drooled on their partner accidentally, the bed fell apart, etc.

These moments are there, whether or not we fully acknowledge them.


 

Let's settle one thing right now: sex will never really be the way you're expecting it to. It's not always the “thrilling” experience that the media makes it out to be, especially for virgins. Television has always made sex out to be the most amazing occurrence that will ever happen to you. This may or may not be the case for you, but it usually isn't for a majority of society. In fact, the idea of sex could have even been ruined for you due to past trauma or general disassociation.

 

My mother taught me all I really needed to know about sex at a young age. It was never taboo, it was never a secret. Her policy was this: if I don't tell them now, they'll try to find out on their own. Ideally, you wouldn't want your daughter to go figure out what sex was by someone else, or to learn about it by having it either non-consensually or unprotected (or both!). Sure, there were some moments during my childhood where I thought I had learned too much about sex from my mom, but it all helped in the end. She didn't cover masturbation that much, but I found that out on my own (insert saucy French laughing here).

 

Now, how do you allow the awkwardness in sex?

I figure that we're all imperfect (don't give me any of your sass, narcissists!) and we're all humans to some extent. There may or may not be at least some werewolves out there. And if sex isn't perfect either, then you've got nothing to worry about! Plus, some of the moments where you really let your guard down and just let things happen often show your partner more about you. Okay, so you accidentally pooted. Sure, it's weird and uncomfortable, but try laughing it off. It was a silly little thing, not the end of the world.

 

In some instances, the mistakes can be cute and fun. Sneezing might be one of those examples. Coughing up a lung, not so much. Oh yeah, try not to have sex while sick! It may be sexy for your partner to have a growly, raspy voice but not if it's because of the flu. Plus, it usually leads to one person gasping for air during wheezes. Could be a turn on for you, but that's not my cup of beverage.

 

You could always just let it go and laugh about it afterward. If you said something crazy during sex and you realized it after, have a good laugh. You said you were a motherfucking astronaut while getting your groove on. Shake it off.

If your partner has a good sense of humor, they'll probably laugh with you.

 

I honestly don't know what to tell you if you have a high-strung partner, however. Maybe you should consider a more crazy approach. Turn it into something sexy! Weird can also be sexy (that's basically how I sum up my significant other).

 

Now, what did we learn today?

- Sex won't always be the glorified moment of your life, as the media represents.

- Having a good sense of humor will help you to shake off the weirdness, or talk about it after.

- Don't have sex when you've got an ailment.

- You can turn awkward moments into sexy moments, too.

- Luka has a mom who openly talks about sex.

My Place, 9:00, Bring the Consent

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 10:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Quick announcement!

As a gamer, I enjoy watching reviews, let's play videos, and other cool stuff to do with games. My partner and his dad did a review on "Warhammer Diskwars", a table top game with wooden disks instead of miniatures and based off of the Warhammer Fantasy game. On comment on the video was that my partner looked like Kevin Smith because of his beard. I am pleased to know I'm dating Kevin Smith. :) You may now continue to your regularly schedule sex blog.


 

 

 

 

 

Consent is asking the other person/people involved if they're willing to engage in these activities, and also asking about their comfort levels, emotionally and physically. If something is too painful, or if they want to take it a little faster, slower, harder, etc, it's good to make time to check in with them. Should the person decide that they no longer want to continue, that's up to them and you. Sometimes, certain aspects of sex can trigger strong emotions in different folks. This is a good thing to discuss before sex.

 

Also, keep in mind that men can be raped, too. Despite stereotypical limits, it's almost impossible to think that men can be raped because they "always want sex". This isn't true, men can be raped. I know 2 men who have been raped. Sometimes this happens in childhood, during their first relationship, or even later in life. It's not as common as women being raped, and it's still an unfortunate circumstance for both genders. It still needs to be brought to attention.

 

Rape can be sexual intercourse with any part of the body that can be penetrated. Yes, it can even be in the ears, if it's non-consensual. Assault is the act of touching/fondling/unwanted contact that can lead to rape.

 

Obviously, it's important to ask for consent during sex. It could be your first time or your 50th time, it's always good to ask. There's always the stereotype of one partner wanting sex and the other not in the mood. In most situations on television, it's the man hinting that he wants sex, the woman denying him. Notice that there's never any asking, just hinting. But that's isn't the case all of the time. My partner and I often use consent, just in case one of us is unsure about it. Sure, it will feel weird for one of us, but it's better than regretting it later. It can still be counted as rape, in some cases, even if you're married to the person involved. Engaging in sexual activities without consent from the other person/people involved can technically be assault or rape. How would you feel if someone was forcing themselves upon you when you didn't want them? Don't do it to someone else.

 

If the other partner(s) involved are unable to give consent (drunk, high, knocked-out, etc), do not engage in sexual activities! They're not able to give consent if they're barely able to stand upright and they're puking in the flower pot.


 

 

 

The person involved may make physical contact with you, but it doesn't mean they're ready for sex. If it's unclear if they want to have sex, reassure them that it's their choice or talk about how you both/all would feel about it. I might rub my hands on your inner thigh when I'm wasted, but that's just the alcohol. Sure, you might have thought about sex all night, but if I say I'm not interested, then it's time to back off. Just please help me to the bathroom, I might be sick...

 

Also, your partner(s) might be into one type of sex, but not the other. For example, they might have been interested in oral sex for that night, but weren't ready for anal/vaginal. It's better to let them choose what they're comfortable with, and for you to choose as well. Remember, check in with them! Don't take silence as a "yes". There should not be any obligation to finish whatever has been started, or pressure to engage in the first place.

 

Just as a head's up, the most common age of sexual consent is 16, but sometimes it can be 18. Check your local laws on ages of sexual consent. In some cases, such as places in Mexico, the age of consent can be as young as 12.

 

 

I want to say thanks to www.scarleteen.com for some help, as well as www.pamf.org. All the images here were found via Google Images.

 

PLEASE FOLLOW MY BLOG! I usually don't ask this because I can at least see how many views I've gotten, but I would love to have some followers! You'll be immediately updated on any new posts, and I can personally answer any questions.

Luka Thalius and the Birth Control Conundrum pt. 2

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 7:55 PM Comments comments (0)

NuvaRing - aka The Ring (no, not that horror movie with the girl and the television)


The ring is a 2” flexible ring that you insert into your vagina once a month to prevent pregnancy.

It's pretty easy to get with a prescription, and in some cases you might be able to get one through your community health center. It will cost anywhere from $15-$80.

 

As with most other forms of birth control, it will not prevent HIV/AIDS.

 

In order to use this pretty ring effectively, you have to insert it into your vagina and up against the cervix. DO NOT go any farther than the cervix, as it will not work and will probably hurt. And if you can push it up that far, may I say...DAYUM!

 

Pros: Easy and relatively affordable birth control, DIY aspect, might need a little bit of lube, but no surgery or doctor's visit.

Cons: May cause blood clots, strokes, heart attacks, high blood pressure, heart disease, ovarian cancer, gallbladder disease, liver tumors. Please don't smoke, breastfeed, or use drugs on the NuvaRing

 

There's a link below with more information. If you like it, then you should put a ring on it (it meaning your vajay?).

 

 

http://www.nuvaring.com/Consumer/index.asp

 

 

 

 

 

IUD (IntraUterine Device)


I'll be honest, I'm a bit biased. I love the IUD's! I have the Mirena version, and it's worked perfectly for me for the past 1-2 years that I've had it. What's great is that you can have unprotected sex without worrying so much about getting pregnant that you start acting like a hyena on crack.

 

There are a few kinds here, but many more online -

Mirena* lasts up to 5 years (hormonal), thickens cervical mucus. Uses the mix of estrogen and progestin.

Skyla* lasts for up to 3 years, hormonal.

ParaGuard lasts up to 10 years (copper), doesn't change hormones at all.

 

*Hormonal IUDs might reduce cramps and menstrual flow after some time, and can be used during breastfeeding.

The way these nifty doodads work are that they block sperm from getting to the eggs. They're T shaped, and they push up against your uterus to keep spermies from tally-hoeing towards your ovaries.

 

They're inserted via a doctor within one visit, and you definitely will experience some pain, spotting, and cramps. Rarely, women will develop infections, but most complications can be treated. In severely rare cases, the IUD will slip out of the vagina. But should all go well, your cramps and pains will go away after a day, and you may start jumping into some pants (I don't advise literally doing this)! I would highly consider wearing a condom during sex, even if you have the IUD, and always check the "strings" a few days afterwards to be sure it's in place.

 

You may find that your sex life will improve and become more spontaneous because you don't have to be so concerned. Should you decide that babies are a sure thing in your future, you can have it taken out and start becoming pregnant right away.

 

 

 

 

 

Sterilization (surgical & non-surgical)

I'll be completely honest, I don't much like this method. It scares me a lot because it means scarring your body in such a way that you won't be able to have babies. I don't know, it just freaks me out.

 

Anyway, this method is meant to be permanent, safe, and effective. There are several ways of doing this:

 

- Cutting the fallopian tubes

- Placing a small insert that causes scar tissue

- Tying the tubes

- Closing them with an electrical clamp

- Cutting and cauterizing

- Placing a ring out it

 

As one might imagine, this is an expensive surgery that will result in discomfort afterwards lasting from 1-3 days. It's meant to block sperm from getting through the fallopian tubes altogether.

 

Most surgeries can be done safely, but there are risks. It's completely possible that the tubes can reconnect. It also may cause ectopic pregnancies (pregnancy that develops outside of the uterus, fatal for the mother).

 

It lasts for life and doesn't effect hormones. It also doesn't cause symptoms of menopause, and you'll still have periods. This is an option one might want to consider if they don't want to have biological children, or feel that their children might be threatened or their health might be in danger (i.e. the parent has AIDS, might pass it along to the child, potential birth defects, etc).

 

 

 

Depo Shot


The Depo Shot is an injection that one gets within the first week of their period that lasts for up to 3 months. It's really easy to get (likely within 1-2 doctors visits. Which reminds me, I need to schedule mine...) It's about $35-$100 to get, potentially more for exam fees. Sometimes one's periods become lighter, heavier, or there's a change in sex drive.

 

It lasts for up to 3 months. It's just a shot of progestin that increases the cervical mucus. It works for as long as you continue getting it.

 

$35-$100 for injection, potentially more for exam fees. Otherwise, not so bad.

 

 

 

 

FemCap

The FemCap is a non-allergenic cervical cap that's inserted with lubricant, much like the aforementioned diaphragm in part 1. It's reusable for one year, and is usually pretty comfortable. Ideally, it doesn't interfere with sex and can be a DIY project (kind of). Once inserted, it covers the cervix and stops any spermies from completing their achievement and gaining experience points in your uterus.

Since there's no surgery involved, one can easily get pregnant after it's removed. It can be acquired through your local family planning center (if you have one. I'm pretty pissed at those states without them and with "rape insurance", as if women are cars or something. Fucking idiots.), or the hospital. It's also made in the US, for those of you more patriotic readers!

 

 

I'm honestly not sure of the price, that's something that might have to be homework for you to do on your own. :)

 

Today Sponge


Oh my gods, you guys. When I looked at this, I couldn't figure out what to think of it. It's funny, but useful, but weird...all of that.

 

Ahem, let me get back to the more professional atmosphere.

 

 

The Today Sponge is a sponge that has spermicide in it. After running it under water, insert it into the vagina against the cervix. It blocks sperm from getting through, and traps them in the sponge, instantly killing them. It only lasts for 24 hours and can't really be felt by either partner.

Oh, and it's held in place naturally by the vaginal muscles.

 

It's disposable, can be carried discreetly, and one can use it in the tub (just no water sex, okay? It will lessen the amount of spermicide in the sponge).

 

Please don't use a tampon at the same time as the sponge. I don't even want to know what would happen there, as it shouldn't be worn during your period.

 

It goes for $12-$18, and you can get them in packs of 3.


 

 

Thanks so much for reading! All these pictures were found on Google Images :3

 

I hope you all had a safe and happy holidays. It's freezing here and the rain doesn't help the roads and sidewalks. I apologize for the lack of updates, I run an Etsy website and other stuff, so I'm quite busy. But I love those of you who read this blog, and thank you!

 

 

 

In the meantime, here's a gif of Markiplier doing stuff.


Luka Thalius and the Birth Control Conundrum pt. 1

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 7:40 PM Comments comments (0)

I've talked about using condoms on this blog before, but they're not the only type of birth control/pregnancy prevention on the planet.

 

They're not?

 

That's right! In fact, there are about several different types of birth control out there. Let's take a look at them.

 

Abstinence

Ah, the dreaded abstinence! The thought that one can actually decide to not have sex. Such an idea is ludicrous! But it does happen. Abstinence is the choice to refrain from having sex. Sometimes, religions require that you remain abstinent until marriage, so that might not be your choice. In some forms of abstinence, kissing and some light touching is fine as long as it doesn't lead to any intercourse.

 

I can not choose abstinence. I applaud those who can do it, but I honestly can't go more than a week or so.

 

With this in mind, abstinence is 100% effective against preventing pregnancy because there are no spermies getting to any eggs, and there's no penetration involved. There's also little to no chance of acquiring an STD or STI (Sexually Transmitted Disease/Infection).

 

You don't have to be a virgin to be abstinent. You can have sex, then decide it's not for you. It doesn't make you a prude, it means you're in charge of your sexual lifestyle. Embrace it!

 

Da Pill

I was on birth control pills for awhile, the Tri-Sprintec brand. They're pretty effective, when you remember to take them. That's one of few down sides to taking the pill: you have to schedule it. I forgot sooo much.

 

Yes, yes, but how do they work?

 

Birth control pills work by controlling ovulation (periods), and creating vaginal mucus. By doing these two things, it would be difficult for sperm to get through and enter the eggs. If there aren't any eggs there, there's nothing for it to latch onto. Likewise, the vaginal mucus becomes thick enough to stop any sperm from getting through, but not enough to gross out your partner. Specifically, the pills stops the pituitary gland from producing Follicle Stimulating Hormones (FSH) and Luteinizing Hormones, which stop the process of dropping mature eggs. Fuck yeah, science!

There are 3 kinds of combination pills - with estrogen, without estrogen, and extended-cycle.

Estrogen and Progestin are both female sex hormones.

With estrogen and progestin: The pill gives you a normal dose of estrogen and progestin, allowing your menstrual cycle to remain fairly regular, or even relieve heavy bleeding and bloating.

Without estrogen (the minipill): This progestin-only pill doesn't change your menstrual cycle, it only thickens vaginal/cervical mucus and thins uterine linings (or endometrium, if you want to get science-y). This is a good pill for people dealing with diabetes, heart disease, blood clots, or are smokers. And if you've already had a child and are currently breastfeeding, they will not reduce the amount of milk you create.

Extended Cycle: This pill still prevents pregnancy when taken daily, but it also allows you to have your period once every 3 months.

Most birth control packs come with about 21-28 pills, they're approximately $15-$150, and some insurance companies cover them. Well, mine did, but I'm in Massachusetts.

Please remember to continue using condoms if you're taking the pill. Missed pills can be nerve-wracking, and you shouldn't just take the pill you missed with the pill you have to take at the same time. Try to use alternative methods to stay safe, just in case.

 

We still have a lot to look at. What are you waiting for? GERONIMO!

 

Da Patch:


The patch is like a pregnancy prevention band-aid, and it looks like one!

You place it on your skin for one week after your period begins, and it allows the body to soak up estrogen and progestin. Only one patch can be worn at a time. While on the patch, you may experience breast tenderness, missed periods, or spotting (light periods).

This is a good option for those who lead a busy life and can't be bothered with taking pills or shots. It's safe and convenient, and usually costs about $15-$80 a month.

For more info on the patch, go visit www.orthoevra.com

 

Implants:

Implants such as Implanon or Nexplanon are thin and flexible plastic pieces which are inserted into your upper arm, right under the skin *shudders* and releases progestin.


 

It prevents pregnancy for up to 3 years, however if you’re taking certain kinds of medication (for Tuberculosis, HIV, mental disorders, anti-seizures, and some herbal supplements), it will make the implant work less effectively. They’re about $400-$800.

While they’re good for women who are often busy, they can make your periods lighter or heavier in some cases, and are not recommended for women with breast cancer.

 

Diaphragm:

According to the Bedsider.org’s article on diaphragms:

 “It looks like Meg Griffin’s hat on The Family Guy” to which I laughed hysterically.


 A diaphragm (which is the hardest word for me to bloody type!) is a shallow cup made of silicon that is inserted into the vagina with spermicide. It’s intended to cover the cervix, blocking any wandering spermies from the uterus. It must have spermicide to work properly.

This must be done by yourself, or someone you’re comfortable enough with (like your doctor, or partner) putting their hands up in yo’ bizz. It’s sort of like using a tampon, so it’s easy enough to manage without getting things lost or worrying about how far to put it in. It’s really the amount of comfort you have with your body.

 Don’t use it if you have silicone or spermicide allergies, and don’t put it in there when you’re on your period, or else it really will look like Meg Griffin’s hat.

 Some of the positive things said about the diaphragm are that both partners shouldn’t feel it during sex, it can be placed hours in advance, there may be brobdignagian amounts of sex with it in, it doesn’t affect hormones, and there’s little risk of pelvic inflammatory disease.

Some negative things said about it are that it can be knocked out of place by large penises/phallic objects or some sex positions, it can cause some vaginal irritation, frequent UTI’s, and difficult insertion.

 

 I'll have to make another part soon, but here are some links for you to check out!

www.bedsider.org

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm


 

 

 

 

 

See you soon!

Luka Thalius & The Discussion on Slut Shaming

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 3:45 PM Comments comments (0)

A very wise, yet not-so-old man was asked:

"Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept with?"

 

And that not-so-old man replied:

"No, and it particularly bothers me that women are held to a different standard on this front than men. It's such a weird thing to care about. Like, if I imagined I tried eating Cheerios for breakfast. Would Cheerios be like 'I'm the 48th cereal you've tried eating?! I don't feel special'. Well then, screw you, Cheerios, I can't go into the past and uneat all those cereals, but that doesn't mean I don't genuinely enjoy your wholegrain crunch..."

-John Green (sorry if you were expecting Dumbledore)

I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, hmm-yes *strokes mustache*


 

Slut shaming is an automatic reactions for most of us, and it isn't alright to do. Do you want people telling you that the color of your hair is disgusting and you should feel bad about choosing that for yourself? Or having people make fun of a new piercing you got that you were happy about, telling you that you're ugly for having it? No, you don't.

 

 

 

 

True, that still happens, but less so than slut shaming. People who choose a more adventurous sexual life than others are often ostracized because of the stereotypes that have been placed upon them. They're constantly under harsh criticism, always assumed to be having unprotected and unsafe sex, and that they're a slave to their sexual needs.

 

To put it plainly, slut shaming is the thought of insulting a woman/girl, and attacking her in some cases, for having multiple sexual partners, expresses her sexuality, and acting on sexual feelings, whether or not she has been sexually active.

 

Primarily, it is targeted towards women, and it's implying that women indulging in sex that is not "normal", then she's a harlot and should be considered inferior. And yet, men are almost encouraged to do so in our society. They're not held to the same standards as women are. In fact, I rarely ever hear anyone call a man a "slut", unless they're joking. For women, it's implied that they can only have sex if love in involved, but it's natural for men to have sex without love, and with whoever they want to. Messed up, isn't it?

 

Slut shaming can come in many forms. It can simply be calling someone a "slut", "wench", "hussy", "tramp", "trollop", "whore", etc; to limiting a woman's desire to show off her body, or disapproving of a woman's decision to wear sexy clothing.

 

 

Of course, there have been groups that are trying to do away with slut shaming by claiming the title. "Yes, I'm a slut and I'm proud!" is an example of what you might see at a local SlutWalk (a walk to challenge ideas of slut shaming, facebook link below).

 

All in all, being a sexually active woman is nothing to be ashamed of. You have the right to express your sexual self without having to live up to the "experienced virgin" expectations of society. It's terribly upsetting that women are called sluts just because they want to live a healthy, natural lifestyle (of course I would argue that cheating is another matter entirely, and I do not support cheating).

 

For more information on slut shaming, as well as many other things, please follow the links below to these sites:

 

Finally, A Feminist 101 Blog

http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/what-is-slut-shaming/

 

Huffington Post article: "Teen Girls Take A Stand Against Slut Shaming..."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/30/slut-shaming-teen-girls_n_4178812.html

 

 

SlutWalk Facebook Page

https://www.facebook.com/SlutWalk

 

 

 

I hope this has been of some help to you folks, and I'll talk to you soon!

Working Out the Kinks - On Ropes, Chains, and Other Things

Posted by Luka Thalius on September 9, 2014 at 3:35 PM Comments comments (0)

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me"

 

Guurl, I started saying that before Rihanna made it popular!

 

The worlds of kink and fetish are hard to explain, and often associated with taboos. Why? Well, they're weird to some, they can sometimes look violent, and they scare old ladies. Tell grandma not to go browsing the internet for that cream pie recipe she's been looking for or she'll have a stroke.

 

I'd say that a majority of society like their sex the same way my sister likes her ice cream: straight-up vanilla. There's nothing wrong with that! But if it's all you're used to, then kink looks scary. Let's shine a light on it, shall we?

 

Kink is an umbrella term used for any kind of sexual practice that goes beyond what we consider normal or conventional. Some of these are widely known, but there are a good many that are overlooked. They can range from BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism), Threesomes, Orgies, Scat play, or Dominance/Submission. The D/S one is more of a lifestyle, really, but that's something I'll explain in a little while.

 

Abrasion

Age play - Similar to Infantilism, in which both/all partners refer to each other as mommy/baby, daddy/daughter, etc. This does not include nor imply aspects of incest, rather the use of teacher/student roles.

Anal plugs (small and large) - These nifty devices can be used during sex and even worn publicly, underneath clothing. They can be used for pain training, or simply just for fun.

Animal roles

Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)

Aromas - Scent is a very powerful thing. Aromas can be used to sexually/mentally simulate yourself and others.

Asphyxiation (choking/being choked)

Auctioned for charity

Ball stretching

Bathroom use control

Bestiality

Beating (soft)

Beating (hard)

Blindfolds

Being serviced (sexual)

Being bitten

Breast/chest bondage

Breath control

Branding

Boot worship

Bondage (light)

Bondage (heavy)

Bondage (multi-day)

Bondage (public, under clothing)

Breast whipping

Brown showers (scat)

Cages (locked inside of)

Caning

Castration fantasy

Catheterization

Cattle prod (electrical toy)

Cells/Closets (locked inside of)

Chains

Chamber-pot use

Chastity belts

Chauffeuring

Choking

Chores (domestic service)

Clothespins

Cock rings/straps

Cock worship

Collars (worn in private)

Collars (worn in public)

Competitions (with other subs)

Corsets (wearing casually)

Corsets (trained waist reduction)

Cross-dressing

Cuffs (leather)

Cuffs (metal)

Cutting

Diapers (wearing)

Diapers (wetting)

Diapers (soiling)

Dilation

Dildoes

Double penetration

Electricity

Enemas (for cleansing)

Enemas (retention/punishment)

Enforced chastity

Erotic dance (for audience)

Examinations (physical)

Exercise (forced/required)

Exhibitionism (friends)

Exhibitionism (strangers)

Eye contact restrictions

Face slapping

Fantasy abandonment

Fantasy rape

Fantasy gang-rape

Fear (being scared)

Fisting (anal & vaginal)

Flame play

Following orders

Food play (cucumbers, sorbet...)

Foot worship, bedwetting, dressing, eating, homo/heterosexuality, masturbation, nudity in private/public, servitude, smoking)

Full head hoods

Gags (cloth, inflatable, phallic, rubber, tape)

Gas mask

Gates of Hell (male chastity device)

Genital sex

Given away to another Dom (permanent or temporary)

Golden showers

Gun play

Hairbrush spankings

Hair pulling

Hand jobs (giving/receiving)

Harems (serving w/other subs)

Harnessing (leather, rope)

Having food/clothing chosen for you

Head (give or receive fellatio/cunnilingus)

High heels

Homage with tongue (non-sexual)

Hoods

Hot oils (on genitals)

Hot waxing

Housework (doing)

Human puppy dog

Humiliation (private/public)

Hypnotism

Ice cubes

Immobilization

Infantilism

Initiation rites

Injections

Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage

Interrogations

Kidnapping

Kneeling

Knife play

Leather clothing

Leather restraints

Lectures for misbehavior

Licking (non-sexual)

Lingerie (wearing)

Manacles & irons

Manicures (giving)

Massage (giving)

Massage (receiving)

Medical scenes

Modeling for erotic photos

Mouth bits

Mummification

Name change (for scene)

Name change (legal, permanant)

Nipple clamps

Nipple rings (piercings)

Nipple play/"torture"

Nipple weights

Oral/anal play (rimming)

Over-the-knee spanking

Orgasm denial

Orgasm control

Outdoor scenes

Outdoor sex

Pain (mild)

Pain (medium)

Pain (severe)

Persona training (in scene)

Personality modification (RL)

Phone sex (serving Dom)

Phone sex (serving Dom's friends)

Phone sex (commercial provider)

Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)

Piercing (permanent)

Plastic surgery

Prison scenes

Prostitution (public pretense)

Prostitution (actual)

Pony slave

Public exposure

Punishment Scene

Pussy/cock whipping

Pussy worship

Riding crops

Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.)

Rituals

Religious scenes

Restrictive rules on behavior

Rubber/latex clothing

Rope body harness

Saran wrapping

Scarification

Scratching - getting

Scratching - giving

Sensory deprivation

Serving (as ashtray, furniture, maid, for other doms with or without supervision)

Sexual deprivation (short term)

Sleep deprivation

Sleepsacks

Slutty clothing (private)

Spanking

Speech restrictions (when, what)

Spreader bars

Stocks

Straight jackets

Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)

Strapping (full body beating)

Suspension (upright, inverted, horizontal)

Supplying new partners for Dom

Swallowing urine

Swapping (with one other couple)

Thumbcuffs (metal)

Triple penetration

Vaginal dildo

Voyeurism (watching others)

Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)

Video (watching others)

Video (recordings of you)

Water torture

Weight loss (forced)

Wrestling

 

I know, there's a lot going on. But if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I'm more than willing to do the research needed to provide you with answers about these topics.

 

Did I miss something in this list? Send me a message or comment and I'll be sure to add it in for you! :)

 

If you want to add me on Fetlife, send me a message and we'll chat about it!


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